“the woman in me
let you go
but the animal in me
was howling and tearing in my skin”
— L.E. Bowman
If we met a little bit earlier, I would’ve played this differently.
I would’ve said yes just to keep you. I’d embrace the ambivalence. I would be your perfect friend, the one who waits with you until the day you decide you’re ready to love again.
I would’ve already found an excuse. I would’ve used every play in the book — to keep you around, to keep you coming over, to keep you in my life.
I would’ve told you I missed you. I’d send all those messages. I’ve written them down and they’re ready to send for when the wave of sadness creeps in the middle of the night.
I would’ve made you feel the loss. I’d remind you of my beauty and my brilliance. I would be a walking reminder that in this parting there’s a winner and the winner isn’t you.
I would’ve asked you to reconsider. I would’ve done everything to make it work. I’d negotiate the terms to make sure I don’t lose you. I would’ve fought harder.
But I’m tired of having my claw marks on everything I’ve ever wanted
…so, gracefully I let you go.