A realization about grace

Aby Go
2 min readAug 31, 2020

“the woman in me

gracefully

let you go

but the animal in me

was howling and tearing in my skin”

— L.E. Bowman

If we met a little bit earlier, I would’ve played this differently.

I would’ve said yes just to keep you. I’d embrace the ambivalence. I would be your perfect friend, the one who waits with you until the day you decide you’re ready to love again.

I would’ve already found an excuse. I would’ve used every play in the book — to keep you around, to keep you coming over, to keep you in my life.

I would’ve told you I missed you. I’d send all those messages. I’ve written them down and they’re ready to send for when the wave of sadness creeps in the middle of the night.

I would’ve made you feel the loss. I’d remind you of my beauty and my brilliance. I would be a walking reminder that in this parting there’s a winner and the winner isn’t you.

I would’ve asked you to reconsider. I would’ve done everything to make it work. I’d negotiate the terms to make sure I don’t lose you. I would’ve fought harder.

But I’m tired of having my claw marks on everything I’ve ever wanted

…so, gracefully I let you go.

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Aby Go
Aby Go

Written by Aby Go

Letters, essays, and stories.

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